Friday
Sep172010
My Zombie Apocalypse Questions
Friday, September 17, 2010 at 5:03PM 
The Zombie apocalypse…
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and talking with friends about the “what if’s” of the zombie apocalypse. Seriously, what if it DID in fact hit? Here are a few of my questions and opinions on those questions.
- If the zombie apocalypse hits would cloning be legalized in order to mass produce human flesh to feed the zombies?
If we ever decide to domesticate them for pets, we would need some type of artificial food. They eat flesh and there isn't enough in the world for us to eat bacon with them. Cloning would be a no-brainer in my opinion. You could make little "zombie away" packets for the stranded, homeless ones that has meat in a can to throw at them. Maybe even hardened ears and toes blood coated can be manufactured as treats. They wouldn't be picky about what they are given because they are stupid so no fancy cookie cutters are needed. - If zombies were to be brought back to life, would cosmetic companies make a fortune creating skin rehabilitation products?
I think scientists would get more wrinkles in creating such a thing because it wouldn't be easy. If they could turn a zombie back to a decent moron of a human I'm sure they would work on creating skin cell replenishments. I'm sure surgeries to connect the sliced up wounds or severed lems would have to take place first, but after that process work on working out that decayed skin blemishes.
- Would hipsters deliberately wear zombie clothes to appear anti-establishment?
We all know hipsters like to appear dirty with their retro clothes, where else would they get the real deal? …By taking the clothes off the dead zombies of course. Maybe that would just reverse the affect and clean people would become the new aged hipsters. Wait, why are zombie clothes ALWAYS so torn up and beat down? I bet if I wore a t-shirt for a month around the world it still wouldn’t look like that, what do they get themselves into? - If zombies never poop would they have HUGE zombie food babies from all that ::om nom nom:: munching?
If they are dead, their organs most likely don’t work, so they wouldn’t be digesting the pounds of flesh they consume on a regular bases. The more food they have in them, the more slowed down they will become, therefore easier to avoid, kill, or capture the walking dead.
- If all zombies ever do is eat the living, how does that person have any flesh or guts left to even come back to life?
Think about it. In movies they always seem so violent and end up eating the entire person. How do so many people end up as a zombie? I doubt zombies who corner a human would just take a small bite and say “there ya go, you can be my friend.”
There are millions of questions out there, but those are ones I haven't heard of yet. Possibly the real zombie apocalypse will most likely be us turning lazy like the people in Idioacracy or Wall-E. Let me hear your comments on this! :)
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Reader Comments (9)
i've read a couple article musings on this very topic, mainly from cracked.com. =] all very interesting observations. This one put me at ease: http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html . I've also read the book 'World War Z' It's actually a really great read, and I highly recommend it. If the zombies are anything like the ones in L4D/L4D2 ... then count me out. I'd probably admit defeat in the face of ANY zombies that run (28 days later, Zombieland, etc). I think I'd have a better chance against lumbering ones (Shaun of the Dead, etc). Time to hit the gym ;D
@Grace - Hahaha, is that book the one in which tells you the best ways to defend yourself against the dead? I've heard of a book like that. I'd take Shaun of the Dead zombies over L4D ones any day! Wait, I'd rather just no zombies in my face ever.
gave me a nice laughter, very well analysed Lauren :)))))))))))
There is a book by Max Brooks, called Zombie Survival Guide, I think you shoukd give it a try in order to prepare yourself for the living dead.
The book by Max Brooks is awesome.
And Lauren, every girl thinking about zombies in the world
deserves respect, because this would be a better with girls like this
i think zombies nibble on the innards >:3
but anyways..zombieland is the basis for my survival in the zombie apocalypse
First question: No. What would be massproduced would be shotguns, and acid round shotgun shells. The production or large scale ship fortresses is still being planned.
Second question: No. Zombies have no money. They don't need money, and actually they are rather not vane at all. Would you go around in ragged clothes filthy with blood and dirt? I do not think so. Zombies however don't have those "self image" issues we the living have.
Third question: They already are zombies. They just don't know it yet. No, seriously, they are, look at them: soulless eyes, all wearing, talking and even walking in very similar ways, all of them after the same things, living only to consume and pray on others. Those M.F.s are zombies (it's still not legal to shoot them, though).
Fourth question: No. Zombies do not digest what they eat, that's why they are always hungry. Anyway, If their guts got heavy enough, they would drop out of their bodies, so no, no "food babies".
Fifth question: Had you ever suddenly got bit by a drunk person who jumped out of a dark alley in the middle of the night? Me neither, but if you were, what you more likely would do is scream and kick the bastard in the face before run away all the way down to your home, where you would lock yourself in (and eventually taking care of cleaning the bite wound). Now, if that person weren't drunk, but were a zombie; then congratulations, you would become a zombie too, in about 3 to 6 hours more or less. And since it happened around midnight, if it's a school night, you would be a full zombie at about 6 am, exact time when someone, maybe one of your parents, would enter your room to wake you up, not knowing you would jump on him or her, to try devour their living flesh. So... Yeah... Most outbreaks start like that, unattended bites; and badly disposed bioweapons, but mostly bites.
Hope I was of any help. Bye!
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